something of my own

Every day I am in service to my family – every day regardless of school, holidays, or weekends I am serving – as long as I have charge over these lovelies I am at service, serving, putting aside and picking up, humbly and not so humbly laying aside my own wants, wishes, desires, and yes even dreams to ensure the wellbeing and care of my family.  And although there is a yes, there is a choosing, there is reward and benefit to my doing so – it isn’t always easy, or fun, or might I say it – uplifting.  It is sacrifice – the leaving, the letting go of, the putting aside of one’s own happiness for the sake of others is sacrifice and there are days when I wonder “if only I had known” but they are short moments and they do pass.  I think then of God and his wisdom – and content myself with my miserly sacrifice and carry on. 

This little blog here became some time ago my search beyond piles of laundry and dishes to find some sense of the who I had been before I became so entrenched in the service of my family.  I found that through the many meanderings I posted here and I found some much needed footing, a grounding which has carried me nicely over these last few non-blogged about years. But things are by no means perfect and I am again in need of some searching, some finding, some giving up, some weeding out. I find I am still in need of something all my own.

Much is covered and masked by snow and winter abounds in some areas of my life but I am content to know that there is something stirring beneath and indeed within which will come with the rains.